Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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