just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
