I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
handjob tips. give me some.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
