Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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