too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
