My sheets look like a crime scene.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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