i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
