you guys were way drunker than both of me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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