i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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