i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
