goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
