I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
