is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
