omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just tell him i said nine months
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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