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• (607): View more from New York

  haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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• (619): View more from California

  He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Soup is delicious

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe

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• (406): View more from Montana

  So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready

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• (916): View more from California

  I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.

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