On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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