he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Buhtt sex?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
