HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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