i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
