Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have post one night stand depression
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
