You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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