those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
