That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
