glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
