We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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