i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
