Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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