That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
