The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
