I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
