You made me cry and you don't even care
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
