what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
