We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
false alarm, still single
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
