I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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