What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
