Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
