this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
