He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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