new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
