I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How external is "for external use only"?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
