just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
