do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
