I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
