I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What drink are we having for lunch?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
