Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
