SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
