I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
