ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
