Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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