I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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