he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
