Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize