Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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