At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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