i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
