last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
