She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
