it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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