eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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