i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
