i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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