He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She bit a glass in half.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
