They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
