Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
