guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
