Porn is love you can see.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
