Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
