I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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