I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
