The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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