You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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