there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
